When a troubled mother is suddenly widowed and a father?s affair comes to light, devastating secrets slowly unravel, but her dysfunctional family are quick to break.

    Penpusher Posted on May 11, 2020 in Drama.
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      Jonathon, a couple of questions please:

      • Why is the mother troubled? Does she suffer from drug abuse, alcoholism, spousal abuse?
      • Why is the family dysfunctional? They were like this before he died, and they did not know about the infidelity ? what is the main reason?
      • What is the most damaging devasting secret? Another family shows up to the funeral with ties to the mob? If its a bunch of bad dad stuff, not sure it adds to your logline.

      Example:

      After being suddenly widowed by her abusive husband, an XXX mother must ?

      Samurai Answered on May 12, 2020.

      Hi Odie,

       

      thanks heaps for responding!

      • Shes troubled because she has lived through an intense trauma where she was at a swingers party with her husband and was somewhat forced to have sex with another man. This trauma carried it self through to their relationship, which is now flawed and failing.
      • In terms of why the family is dysfunctional:? her son is estranged after spending 9 years away after coming out as Gay. The daughter tries desperately to not be like her mother and fails, and the Father is cold and absent.
      • The devastating secret is that the mother broke into her husbands secret lovers house and tried to kill her. This caused a ripple on effect where the father ended up killing himself. making the mother in-fact responsible for his death.

      i guess now that i see all this, very little of that is in the actual logline, hey?

       

      What would your attempt be to fix this?

       

      Cheers,

      Jonathon!

      on May 12, 2020.

      Breaking it down:

      Sounds like the A story is a mother’s journey to save her family – so I will focus on that.

      • Protagonist: A newly-widowed mother
      • Goal: To be the mother she needs to be to save her family.
      • Antagonist/Opposition: Web of Lies and trauma.
      • Stakes: Her family being destroyed.

      How about:

      A newly-widowed mother must unravel a web of lies and deceit after the traumatic suicide of her husband to save her family from ruin.

      on May 14, 2020.
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        Based on your response to Odie, I think you should try and incorporate the way the husband died seeing as it’s integral to the twist: after an unexpected suicide, a troubled mother…

        Penpusher Answered on May 12, 2020.
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