RE: 250 years after an asteroid impact leaves one side of Earth continually facing the sun, a lone outsider tries to find a new home in an increasingly more hostile world with the help of a physical manifestation of his soul.

      dandahlson Penpusher Posted on May 19, 2020 in SciFi.
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      2 Reviews

        Sounds intriguing dandahlson,

        • When I first read the logline, I read into it ?a lone outsider tries to find a new world? ? because I couldn?t wrap my head around this asteroid stopping the rotation/axis of the earth so that only a single side faces the sun? Please elaborate.
        • “a lone outsider” is hard to picture, I get since the asteroid there are fewer folks, but I believe this protag description can be strengthened. Why is he an outsider?
        • Add more intent by replacing ?tries to find? with: must, is forced, etc.
        • Why is the world more hostile? Is it now a post-apocalyptic setting? Are earth’s creatures/people feral?
        • I see this physical manifestation (soul) as him talking to himself as he journeys, is that right?
        • Finally, what happens if he does not find a new home in time or loses is his soul?

        Take care.

        Samurai Answered on May 19, 2020.

        dandahlson I see you reposted your updated logline as new. Please utilize the comments area to post your updates to not break the (?START HERE? tab in the bar above) community guideline rule.

        Don?t re-post the same logline.
        That?s what comments are for, so we can easily see the improvement of a logline over time.

        Glad Mike was able to help! Take care.

        on May 21, 2020.
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